Golden
by shipperchick
Summary: Sydney figures out what makes her happy. (Sydney/Will)


Title: Golden  
Author: shipperchick  
Email: shipperchick_42@yahoo.com  
Keywords: Alias, unabashedly Sydney/Will (Am I the *only* one out there???)   
Rating: PG-13, to be safe.   
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Alias are owned by ABC, Touchtone, and are the creation of JJ Abrams and Bad Robot Productions. No profit is being made from this endeavour.   
Spoilers: Up to Season Two, especially the season premiere.   
Archive: The PPoS (http://www.theppos.com) and my site http://www.definitEdge.com. If you want it, take it, just drop me a line to tell me where it's gone.   
Feedback: Would be appreciated.   
Summary: Sydney figures it out.  
Dedication: For Adriana, who will never read this, because she understands my will!obsession  
  
Authors Note: This was written before 'Trust Me' and all subsequent episodes, and doesn't reflect any of the ... shifts that have occurred since then. I posted it everywhere but here... oops. ;p  
  
*********  
It took Sydney almost a year to figure it out.   
  
  
  
It was a late May day, blindingly sunny and unusually cool, for which she was eternally grateful in her heavy cap and gown.   
  
  
  
It was her graduation day, and a complex cocktail of emotions swirled within her.   
  
  
  
She'd seen her mother, carefully disguised but recognizable all the same, smiling encouragingly at her as she walked with her classmates towards the stage. Sydney had a moment to idly wonder how dear old mom had escaped her CIA watchdogs before a wash of unpleasant emotion flooded her heart. She struggled to keep from choking on the hurt and rage that welled up within her. She had not been invited and was most certainly not wanted.   
  
  
  
She'd seen Francie, leaning precariously over four people, waving frantically and snapping pictures at the same time. A cool rush of laughter swept up within her. The laughter of a thousand shared memories and confidences, it was almost enough to wipe away the taint of her mother's double betrayal; once for leaving, and again for coming back.   
  
  
  
She'd seen her father as she crossed the stage to accept her diploma; a lone suited figure just turning to walk away as she shook the dean's hand. The sight filled her with the stale remnants of a remembered hurt and the cool breath of a newfound peace.  
  
  
  
She remembered offering the invitation, and his awkward acceptance. How he'd stumbled to place disclaimers on his expected appearance. They'd gotten closer over the last year, bonding in shared hurt and distrust of Her, but some things never changed. He never wanted her to expect anything, for the never knowing of when he'd have to fail her. She'd pressed the ticket silently into his hand and turned away, smiling.   
  
  
  
No rush, Dad. No rush.  
  
  
  
In a flicker of sunlight, she thought she'd seen Vaughn, and was shocked at the choking surge of fear and rage that overcame her. The risks... her mind yammered. What if Arvin had come? And as she turned to return to her seat, she thought, not for the first time, love isn't supposed to feel like this.   
  
  
  
And then, just before she turned her back upon the crowd, she saw Will.   
  
  
  
Will, who'd been the one person to see all of her in the past year. Will, with whom she'd shared, with careful editing, all the demeaning and disgusting and demoralizing things she'd done on behalf of SD-6 and the CIA. Will, the only one who knew her frustration and listlessness as graduation approached and the circumstances of her life prevented her from taking the next step towards her dreams of being a teacher.   
  
  
  
Will, who'd cradled her bruised and bloodied body when she returned from missions, and helped her with concealer. He'd seen her at her most volatile and violent, when her mother's return had sent her on an emotional spiral. He'd been with her at her most vulnerable and broken, and soothed her aching heart. He'd sat through countless tirades and weeping fits and mood swings, offering nothing but sage advice when he could and healing silence when he couldn't. He'd destroyed his own life -- reduced it to rubble ...and done it with a devil-may-care smile, all for the love of her.   
  
  
  
In that endless instant, when all of this flashed across her changeable, cloudy eyes, Sydney felt a golden pulse of joy... simply joy. It started in her heart and rushed upwards, casting a glow into her eyes and cheeks. It snuck downwards, settling in her belly and swirling deeper, tightening things low and hidden with its warmth.   
  
  
  
He'd always belonged to her. She'd known it. What she hadn't known was that, somehow, in that belonging, she'd become his as well. His to protect, his to cherish. His to love ... and be loved by.   
  
  
  
She loved him. It was as simple and uncomplicated as the joy she felt when she saw him ...and only him. Only with him was she all of Sydney, the spy and the student and the friend all at once. Only with him was she simply... happy.  
  
  
  
Her smile was a breathtaking sight. As she returned to her seat, it caused an answering wave of smiles in her neighbors. It seemed to almost lighten the sky as she tilted her head upwards and bathed her face in the golden sunlight as the ceremony ended. It remained breathtaking while a few hats were thrown half-heartedly into the air, though her carefully pinned cap stayed where it was. It grew to stunning as she quickly descended the stairs and walked blindly past the mother who'd reached out arms towards her and headed towards her true family.  
  
  
  
Francie was beaming an ear-to-ear grin, and it was with a truer laughter than she'd ever known that she embraced her friend. But she was a woman who knew her own mind, now, and she would not be distracted. Giving Francie one last squeeze, she released her friend and took the one step needed towards her future.   
  
  
  
He hugged her, gathering her up into his arms with a familiar strength and comfort that had come to smell like home to her. What was completely unfamiliar, though, was the electric tingle that ran through her body as it rubbed up against his. Was this what it had felt like for him, holding her all those times, over all these years? Oh, Will...   
  
  
  
She breathed in the scent of him, rubbing her nose slightly against the fine grain of his jacket. With one final indrawn breath for courage, she released him and stepped back.... only to reach up with one hand and draw his head firmly down towards hers for a kiss.   
  
  
  
Their mouths met, melded, her lips nibbling at his as she slanted her mouth and drank in the searing warmth that had become physical contact with him. Behind her, Sydney could hear Francie's loud gasp as she released him to look up into his eyes.   
  
  
  
He looked... dazed. Then, his eyes quickly refocusing, the expression in them became... guarded, cautious. It was as if a veil dropped over his face, and Sydney mourned it. The crystal vitality of his eyes was dulled, and that was a travesty.   
  
  
  
"What.... what was that?" he mouthed carefully, enunciating as if he wasn't sure his mouth would respond. Grinning impishly, Sydney allowed herself the secret, feminine thrill of being able to so bowl over the man in her heart.   
  
  
  
"It was a thank you," she whispered, staring up at her golden man, his hair set alight as the sun and gentle breeze made it dance.   
  
  
  
"For what?"  
  
  
  
"For loving me." Sydney watched as his half-smile bloomed into a full-fledged one and she bathed in its warmth.   
  
  
  
He tilted his head, staring down into her eyes and, it seemed, deep into her heart. A heart, she knew, he'd taken the time and effort to learn in exquisite detail.   
  
  
  
"And?" There was definitely an 'and'.   
  
  
  
She smiled. He knew her so well.  
  
  
  
"And for waiting until I could love you back."  
  
  
  
This time Sydney watched as the caution in his eyes dropped away, leaving shock and disbelief. He was looking into her eyes, though, and he knew her too well to deny the truth of what he saw there. She was alight, aglow, aflame with love. For him? For Will? Impossible.  
  
  
  
Impossible?  
  
  
  
He reached out, tentatively cupping her jaw with one hand. The pad of his thumb brushed the porcelain grain of her face along her cheekbone, underneath her eyes as he delved into them, searching for the truth... the most important truth of his life. What he saw there rocked his foundations, crumbled them into so much dust, and he was built anew.   
  
  
  
Unknown, uncaring, a single crystal tear hovering on the edge of his lashes and then dropped, trailing down his cheek. His questing thumb found one to match on her own cheek, as she nodded frantically and reached up to cover his hand with her own.  
  
  
  
Not impossible. Just miraculous.   
  
  
  
Slowly, tentatively, as if the moment would shatter into a thousand pieces at the slightest wrong move, Will raised his other hand to frame Sydney's face. Around them, the sound of hundreds of jubilant students faded and nothing was left but the golden light of the sun on their faces. He reached down to kiss her, and it was... luminous.   
  
  
  
Their mouths met, tentatively at first. She tasted of golden honey, thick and heady and he drank her in, as she did the same to him. It was fireworks and fireplaces, rockets and roses. It was everything exotic, and it was home.   
  
  
  
Behind them, Sydney could hear the raucous cheers and laughter of her classmates, and the enthusiastic clapping that had to be Francie. Her perfectly pinned hat slipped down her back, but she didn't care.   
  
  
  
She'd figured it out. And it was golden.  
  
  
  
The End.   
  
  
______________________  
Just another idiot with a webpage:  
http://www.definitEdge.com 


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